Since Posarc is a site dedicated to the partners of sex addicts, you may be wondering why we include some resources for the addicts as well. Here's why:
I frequently receive mail from partners (of sexual compulsives) who ask me for my opinion on everything recovery-related. My private clients as well, whom I do Recovery Coaching or Consulting with, ask me for my preferences in recovery materials for their addicted spouses.
I want to be able to direct seekers to help when they ask for it. And--please note:
I do not receive any benefits whatsoever for promoting the resources that I do. It's also the reason you'll notice my website is free of all advertising.
Therefore, if you find a resource on this site, be assured that it's here because I have personally road-tested this resource or watched the effects of said resource closely on those I know well who were using it, not because it's my uncle's company or because I'm getting a trip to Florida in January out of it. Though Florida does sound alluring this time of year!
So let me introduce what I consider to be a great online porn and sex-addiction recovery tool: CANDEO.
Candeo Review
by Scott A.
Contributing writer to Posarc.com
Congratulations to the creators of Candeo, an online Sexual Addiction Recovery system, for offering such a dynamic and well coordinated, step-by-step process that will guide those who want to cease their self-destructive sexual behaviors and replace them with healthy behaviors.
The affordable subscription to the Candeo program offers a client access to the most current information on the brain science behind sexual addiction and help with understanding relational dynamics along with some effective therapeutic tools that help to put it all together. Candeo can be used as a primary recovery program or as a compliment to other programs; the knowledge and tools gained from Candeo are universal and timeless.
Candeo's interactive training tools are presented through a comprehensive, high-quality video format that is honestly quite fun and compelling to watch. Historically, my approach to my own recovery work was often characterized by a profound sense of dread and dullness, which made the initial sobriety period all the more challenging. So I was pleasantly surprised to find that I was actually enjoying my experience in working through Candeo's recovery modules!
Upon enlisting in the Candeo program, the feeling of networking within a vast community of support was remarkable. I was soon contacted by a personal Support Coach through the in-house email system, who offered help and encouragement to work through any initial ripples and ongoing obstacles that might arise.
One may choose to stay anonymous by registering with a pseudonym, and I know that was valuable to me as I also struggled with shame throughout the course of this affliction. Candeo offers continued support and freelifetime membership in their Forum-based support community which hosts hundreds of topics and thousands of posts.
My experience of the Candeo Training approach began as an ambivalent observer, unsure of what I needed from the process. I had previously formed some foundational success in my sexual recovery from a few years of attending meetings, personal therapy and a whole lot of white-knuckling. After a recent relapse I realized that I had a lethargic perspective of Recovery so I tried Candeo and was very encouraged by their dynamic approach to Recovery. Their well crafted videos show the effects of brain chemicals that activate when we engage in the behavior we're trying to quit, which had helped me to feel like my addiction wasn't necessarily the result of a defective brain.
Within moments of starting the Candeo program, I felt a renewed perspective of recovery. As I progressed through the modules, I felt that I was gaining access to missing parts of myself that had become buried through my many years of addiction. These missing parts were qualities that were not being cultivated in my previous recovery programs. I personalized my own goals as I was led through Candeo's co-creating process, all at my own pace. This new vitality was very refreshing and I now feel stronger than ever. The tools and processes guide you through creating and implementing many new and healthy behaviors while educating and revitalizing your own feelings, then helping you re-create the values that support who you wish to be in the world.
From working my program with Candeo I acquired a new purpose and supporting structure for my sense of 'self'. I developed a greater appreciation and love for my partner, the one who has been there for me and who has been so deeply hurt by my behaviors. I felt a profound shift develop in my understanding of empathy and how I trigger and continue to harm my partner, destroying her sense of trust and well-being in our relationship. That sabotage was working against both of us and I was able to see the roots of these destructive reactions. I became more able to consciously respond as an adult rather than react from the unconscious child's mind within me, something which had always led to arguments between us.
What I admired most with the Candeo program was how I related overall to the material. To borrow the old cliché, "I felt led by my goals and not pushed by my fears".
After Candeo has taken you through the chapters in the initial training modules (packaged in a 6-month window) you may then proceed to deepen your education on a monthly basis as needed. The technology involved with the high-quality presentation is definitely impressive. The program was presented in multimedia, so I was absorbing the material by viewing, reading and listening simultaneously. I never felt bored with Candeo and this program is available any day, anytime (unlike weekly support group meetings or therapy sessions). There is quite a LOT of valuable information and support available here, presented in a graceful and seamless manner.
Within many addict/compulsive's personal histories there is a high probability of finding early attachment injuries, often from physical and/or emotional abandonment, neglect or abuse. Many of us were not fortunate enough to have had a healthy role model showing us how to be emotionally mature, and how to incorporate sound values. And still others may have had role models who were fundamentally damaging, implanting destructive values.
Candeo builds into their program what I would call "principles of integrity" which are positive values that perhaps a authoritative figure could have modeled for us, in a perfect world, showing us how to integrate these values into our lives to become men of honor and integrity. Which one of us couldn't have benefitted by having an emotionally healthy big brother or father to guide us through our formative years! With Candeo, we don't receive that entirely, but it's definitely a start.
I highly recommend rewarding yourself, your partner and especially your recovery with the Candeo experience!
Some words of caution to consider before setting up your Candeo subscription: Candeo is an internet-based system, designed for the user to spend 1-2 hours weekly, preferably a portion of everyday, to be alone on the internet. Obviously, the internet medium is highly dangerous for many people challenged with a pornography or online-related addiction. Our "inner addict" should not be trusted to be alone with the internet! It is recommended that you first have a suitable filter and/or blocking software installed on your computer which can be set to allow access to Candeo but then obviously blocks the potential threats to your sobriety. If you are in a committed partnership, you might do well to coordinate your time online with Candeo for when your partner will be right nearby, maybe even in the same room.