POSA™ Blog

Happy Almost Spring, dear Readers!

We have less than two weeks left until the official start of spring begins, even though for many of us, this winter was exceptionally mild. Nonetheless, we're eager to get our garden started and to welcome the longer days of sunlight. 

Today we have a new video episode for you as part of our Survivor's Series. In it, we'll be interviewing an especially articulate and self-reflective survivor, Dr. Susan K as she speaks about her experiences in her covertly injurious long-term marriage and ...what finally changed for her.

As she says in our interview:

"You are stronger than you think you are.
You have more power than you think you do.
Your life is going to change...and you're going to be happy again.
You're going to be at peace again. I didn't think I'd ever find peace again".

We think you'll agree that Dr. K possesses tremendous courage and tenacity which is why we thoughther story would inspire our readers to take heart and prioritize their own well-being no matter what is happening at home.

As ever, if anything you've heard or seen here rings true for you, or allows a submerged insight to come to light, please share with our other readers in the Comments section. We'e all learning together here!

If we were fortunate enough to have received a donation from you for our video series, we thank you!
We are glad you realize how valuable a website with no annoying ads is, especially one that operates independent of any treatment models, practitioners or centers. 

​Greetings, and happy almost-February! Hopefully you're settling into the quiet, more introspective days of winter and allowing the stillness of the season to nourish you. We are taking advantage of the shorter days and longer nights, too, by working on a new website with all original, fresh content that we're feeling pretty keen about. But until we unveil that to you all, we want to share our next Survivor's Series Episode.

This new episode focuses on Amy, a wife and mother of two young children who discusses her hopes for her marriage, her brave attempts to keep her family together even as her heart was broken, what was really going on underneath the supposed signs of "progress" in his therapy, and how she made the decision to make a decision. 
Along the way there was treatment-induced-trauma, too, which can be terribly confusing to sort out since you're there thinking that specialized therapists are the experts, right? His shingle says so, and we're always told Trust the Process.... 

Episode 5: Part 1

Episode 5: Part 2

Losing a marriage or long-term relationship (or even contemplating the loss of the union we thought we were in) is always difficult, but the holidays can make it feel even more so. Gathering around a candle-lit dinner table to partake of a specially-cooked meal, watching excited youngsters open their gifts, hearing holiday music, seeing festive decorations everywhere, all of it can underscore exactly how different this year will be from years past. Dread can seep in just thinking about how much it's all going to hurt if we're having a difficult time this season.

In the tiny lull between Thanksgiving and before the impending holiday frenzy really kicks in, we wanted to share our next Survivor's Series episode with you, our readers. And because we received a fair amount of feedback from those of you who preferred the audio-only format of our last episode as it enabled you to multi-task while listening, we wanted to say that even though our new episode is a video, it's just as easy to hit PLAY on your phone and simply listen to it in the car, while making dinner or whatever else you're busy with. 

As the last month of summer continues to bless us with warm days and abundant gardens and the kids head back to school, we are excited to offer another episode of our Survivor's Series. These are the actual accounts of real women who reclaimed their lives once they freed themselves from the Intimate Partner Abuse that chronic infidelity, in all its many forms, engenders. We've written about cheating as a form of narcissistic abuse, as well, since it is the common component in recurrent infidelity.   

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"My personality is more about making things right, fixing things and getting them to work (in my marriage) ...but there's a downside to that: I had to learn to let go and stop trying to fix."

In addition to the valuable insights and lessons from Sandra's story, take note of the somewhat surprising circumstance under which she finally arrived at her decision to create a better life for herself and her children. 

 Hi Friends and Colleagues - 

Are the behavioral patterns we see in chronic betrayers attributable to addiction and nothing else? When colleagues gather here, we often find ourselves wondering whether the term "addiction" is even an accurate one, and/or what else might be going on?

Certainly in the early days right after Discovery, we partners just needed the lying and cheating to stop and complicated-sounding diagnostic terms just addled our trauma-stunned brains further. "Just fix him!", we pleaded, and sure enough, there was a vast array of addiction counselors/therapists claiming the men to be "very sick sex addicts". 

Two weeks left of winter and we are bursting at the seams to unveil a brand new resource for partners that we are thrilled to share with you all!