POSA™ Blog

Nothing makes me happier than learning that POSAs are creating grass-roots healing circles in their communities. What I know for sure is that for partners, the healing is accelerated through the sharing of our stories and that often, life-long friendships can grow out of these powerful gatherings. My own closest friend comes courtesy of having been a life-line to me during the early days post- D-Day.

We're pleased to announce a new addition to our rapidly-growing list of in-person, free support group meetings. This one is being held in Charlotte, NC twice a month and already has eight members!

Thank you to the POSA who made all the arrangements for this meeting to happen and who will be leading it with the blessing of her therapist there.

Before I continue to post another installment of a popular feature about Lying and how to spot it, (look for it here this upcoming week) I wanted to announce another new Support Group for POSAs starting up next week in Shreveport, Louisiana.

I have full faith that this meeting will serve that community well because we've gotten a good deal of inquiry from partners in that area about when such a meeting might happen. Now, a woman who has strong organizational abilities and the desire to take on the leadership of a new meeting has approached us with the meeting details already set up and ready to go.

Congratulations to the Shreveport area for now being able to offer a safe space for sharing, support and kinship to partners in need!

For more information on this meeting, please e-mail: posa_shreveport@yahoo.com

I am excited to extend an open-arms welcome to the two newest POSA Support Group meetings that have just become official …..in Cincinnati, Ohio and in West Sacramento, California!

I know that the partners of sex addicts in both Ohio and California worked diligently to get these meetings started and that both have the backing of some of their local area therapists to get the word out about these groups. It's an added bonus when therapists will help groups get publicized either by leaving a flyer in their waiting room or bulletin board, as well as informing any of their own clients for whom such a group may be appropriate.
I love hearing good collaboration success stories!

Once again, another intrepid POSA started her own free support group meeting in the Sonoma County area which I've heard has already grown to about 8 women, just by word of mouth from her and her therapist. Also, her therapist is part of small group practice and there is now an artful POSA Meeting flyer available for the other therapists and clients using that suite of offices.

I know these meetings can provide a lifeline back to reality and back to one's self....the self we were before the relational rupture of Discovery happened. And it can help to have a room full of what in Seminary was termed "Compassionate Witnesses" when we are in the early formation stages of creating our new lives after the old one has been shattered. Anyone who's ever gone through this trauma knows that nothing is ever the same after "D-Day". Who will 'hold' us and witness the we we are becoming?

Once again, a POSA has decided to step up and offer her community a safe space for healing from the trauma of finding out one's committed partner is a sex addict/compulsive (SAC).

This meeting will take place at a church in a beautiful area of the country, Charleston, SC and there is even an SA (Sex Addicts) 12-step meeting there that sends the wives and girlfriends to that PoSA Meeting! So if anyone is in that area, whether SAC or POSA, there is support now available for you.

I hear from many partners of those who've been chronically cheated on who express needing local support and encouragement from other POSAs ---but--- something gets in their way- either they feel they have to be strong already in order to start their own support group, or else they're afraid that a meeting may be way more involved than they have energy or time for.

So we created a short video that answers some of those concerns and helps you get a better sense of, well, how to get a meeting going and how they work best. 

IT HAS BEEN SO VERY INSPIRING TO WORK WITH THESE POSAS

There have been at least five new POSA Meetings formed in this past year alone! It has been so very inspiring to work with these POSAs who took the initiative to begin hosting meetings in their local areas. Our communications in working together have energized and empowered all of us!

We know how treacherous life can feel in the wake of discovering that your life partner has betrayed you. One of the more extraordinary gifts hidden within this relational devastation is the power of POSAs to find and to support one another. To begin our healing process, we can learn to stop trying to bond back to the person who carelessly ruptured our bonds (at least until they've earned our trust back sufficiently), and to find new, supportive people to trust and to create healing community with.