A Dedicated POSA Garden

One of the more fascinating ways synchronicity shows up in my life is that I might notice that a POSA will bring up a topic that particularly inspires me, grabs my attention. I might think about it later on that day and then sometimes within the next day or two, the very same theme will be brought up in a similar way by yet another Partner I speak with. Seems like a coincidence, right?

When that particular aspect or motif is raised by a different POSA a third time within a matter of days, I know there's a definite synchronicity happening, and I delight in knowing we are all connecting to something larger than us.

This week's wonder-filled synchronicity centered on the topic of gardens and flowers. A POSA came to see me and reported that with the increasing hours of sunlight in the past few weeks, she's feeling much stronger, more positive overall about her life. She told me she placed the little houseplant that usually lives on her kitchen windowsill, outside on the porch in the direct sunlight and that she's been enjoying watching the plant respond so well.

I think to myself, how remarkable that she's able to glean such small but soul-sustaining moments of joy while the rest of life feels like it's crashing and burning all around her. I go to bed, marveling at our ability to notice these small miracles despite the excruciating pain that most partners go through in learning to survive knowing that their mates have engaged in extremely hurtful behaviors.

The next day, another POSA tells me that now that the freeze is over in her part of the country, she's going to dedicate a small portion of her garden to herself, and stop being so practical, previously thinking only about growing edibles for her family. She tells me her husband will probably be controlling and demand that she not waste money on flowers, but rather, spend it on vegetables that they can actually use. She says with a wry smile that she'll enjoy defying him this spring by buying herself a fragrant rosebush or two. She senses innately that her 'defiance' is really more a matter of her own desires taking up space once again, instead of allowing them to be pushed aside as they have been for two decades of marriage.

And then today, yet a different POSA Skypes with me from overseas and says nothing about nature or the weather but later on, seemingly apropros of nothing we spoke about, she decides to send me a photo of her windowbox garden along with the caption: What Will Replenish Me This Season
I had goosebumps!

That's when I knew we might all be touching into what Jung called the collective unconscious, since none of these three women know each other. Remarkable! 

And while yes, we all know that it was a brutal winter in much of the country and that it lasted for far too long, I think this collective inspiration I was privy to hails from more than just our relief that spring is finally here. I like to imagine our healing happening in waves of solidarity sometimes, and why wouldn't it?

Whether you have a backyard, front yard or no yard at all-- and--whether you believe you have a green thumb or not, think about this:

What if we could each enjoy the planting of a seed or seedlings, and then bear witness to the amazing potential of a small, fragile thing to become so much more of Itself when tended with care and kindness?
And what if we also trusted that our efforts would produce something of beauty if we could be patient with it and not dig it up every few days to see how it was doing?
I can imagine that to be a lovely external ritual that reflects and reinforces our inner process of coming back to our true, growing and healing Selves.

So, here's an invitation to all of you: what if we each participated in creating our own small flowering area, a chosen spot under a window, or simply planted a pretty terracotta pot which we dedicate to our own unfolding process? It could serve as a personal homage to our own inborn beauty and growth, and act as a reminder to mindfully tend to our own fragile-but-becoming-stronger-Self. If we ignore it, it won't flourish, it will shrivel up and wither away. Same thing with us....we need to prioritize our own self-care and tend to the Selves we are becoming, despite having survived the unthinkable.

And if we absolutely feel like rebirth is the farthest thing away from anything we can imagine right now, can we plant something anyway, just as a gift to ourselves, just as a reminder that one day, we'll be capable of rebirth and will bloom again, too?
I can't wait to get started. I hope you'll join me!

Tell us in the Comments section below: Where would you choose to put your small POSA garden? What would you plant there? What statuary or objects could signify the loving presence that watches over it? Would you let others take care of your garden or would you protect it somehow from outside involvement? What would you name your garden or flowerpot? I will be posting the best responses (with photos as space allows) in the coming months!

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