POSA™ Blog
An Authentically Partner-Trauma-Sensitive Voice Emerges for Women Struggling with Infidelity-Ravaged Relationships
Hello Readers~
Even though our last snowstorm in the northeast was just 6 weeks ago, the increasingly warm days are finally signaling Spring!
Here at PoSARC, we're in the midst of new changes, too. Over the past year, we have been steadily incorporating a more multi-sided perspective on what it takes for women to heal from betrayal trauma, or trauma incurred at the hands of the men commonly referred to as "sex addicts." We're speaking out more about the narcissistic traits like massive entitlement which underlie chronic infidelity, so women can begin to come out of shock and start to understand where these behaviors actually originate from. And we're walking away from models that claim to help but actually end up emboldening men (and even colludes with them) to maintain their "rights" to remain covertly abusive instead of calling them to account for their deceptive behaviors. We're writing more, too, about the treatment-induced trauma we hear about way too frequently from our clients who have been damaged while under the care of therapists/coaches/clergy utilizing the prevailing "sex addiction treatment model".
Towards that end, this year we are focusing on articles intended to educate partners about not only what works to help re-center their lives in the aftermath of discovering infidelity, but also teaching them about the common pitfalls to be aware of in the standard therapeutic approaches to "sex addiction". Partners have a right to carefully question any treatment approach that ends up greatly affecting the way that they, their betraying mates and the relationship itself are conceptualized.
In the interim, there is a growing body of emergent voices in women who, like us here at PoSARC, have been working with partners for many years, long enough to notice that we share many common observations about the myriad ways the lucrative "sex addiction" recovery industry still often puts women in harm's way. We feel compelled to share some of these revelatory conversations with our readers here on this site in the coming weeks so that partners know there are other perspectives and options on board when considering all-important decisions that will affect them and their children.
One of the independent, strong voices bravely speaking up about the Intimate Partner Abuse that betrayed women face belongs to a colleague and friend, Diane Strickland, M.A., M.Div., a fellow ordained minister (retired) and betrayal trauma coach for partners. Many of those fortunate enough to have worked with her use adjectives like 'deeply empathetic' and 'incredibly wise' to describe her work with partners and her approach to the field of healing trauma. Recently, Diane started her own website and blog, through which she offers her insightful articles, practical tools and coaching for partners.
Last week, we treated ourselves to an evening of catching up on some of her recent blog posts from her new website, Your Story Is Safe Here: https://www.yourstoryissafehere.com
Though all her writing reflects the gems that Diane has returned with from her own descent into the nightmare of discovering chronic infidelity/deception in her very long marriage, there was one article in particular that struck a real chord for us here: I Wish Someone Had Told Me.
We are honored to share it with our PoSARC readers here: https://www.yourstoryissafehere.com/blog/2018/4/8/i-wish-someone-had-told-me
One of Diane's gifts is that she can not only calmly give voice to the dizzying upheaval of emotional states occasioned by Discovery and the months/years that follow it, but she also articulates the ultimately liberating journey back to Self that each partner is involuntarily summoned to take. And we greatly admire the courage with which Diane clearly speaks her truth about all the un-truths she sees around her, not only witnessed in her own and other women's relationships with profoundly character-disturbed cheaters, but within the "sex addiction recovery" industry itself.
So without much further ado, we're proud to introduce our readers to what we consider an authentically partner-trauma-sensitive body of work contained on the pages of Diane's website.
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Comments 1
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I would be SO GRATEFUL to give a glowing endorsement to Diane Strickland’s strong, steady, and comforting countenance and hard-earned owl-like wisdom ?!
I don’t think there is any other advocate out there for partners like Diane - who has been deep in the trenches with women through this devastating and life-altering experience.
She is a pioneer, she learned to speak truth to power from being rendered literally mute! She has CLAWED her way back to herself and into a better life from the depths, helped others along the way, and there is no one I could recommend more to be on/by your side through this horribly difficult journey.
Diane forged her own way, not with the help of moron textbook jerks BUT IN SPITE OF THEM.
She knows what you’re going through because she’s been through it and was failed and appalled AND HURT by treatment models much as you might have been.
Save yourself grief, time, and money (ask me how I know) and go peruse her beautiful blog. It really is a safe, gentle place of warmth and understanding.
Then book Diane. She’s the true advocate for your wounded self you never knew you needed. You will be grateful you did.
Diane is a gift you deserve to give yourself during this brutal time.