The Big Change in Porn-Viewing From the 80’s to Present

This online Forum on Reddit is for porn addicts who wish to stop PMO (their acronym for porn-masturbation-orgasm) and seek support and encouragement from one another. It is an open forum and a colleague of mine sent me this poignant Comment posted by a porn addict in recovery for a few months now:

I was struck yesterday by virgins talking about their porn use. It made me think about my childhood. Back then porn was something that people did watch and consume but it came with a great stigma. Few decent family men or even virgin men would walk into a video rental and rent porn. They might come into a possession of a porn mag or two. But even that was something that people were ashamed of.

Now porn is openly celebrated. Advertised in public spaces. It is available at every device. There has been a lot of talk about how this has been a great thing. That we have been liberated from the old uptight attitudes. But now that people start have problems due to porn use it makes me wonder whether this liberation has been good or bad.

The slow degradation of the "moral backbone" that no one seems to have anymore. Including me. Which I am trying to build up again. Because I suffer due to porn use. Because it is not good for me.

And now with the studies coming out. About changes in the brain. So much of my own behavior just suddenly makes sense. I know my heart skips a beat at just a few pixels on a risque advertisement, in a way that a few pixels should not.

I remember computer being for playing. Working. But somehow this screen became a portal for sex. I have a wife. We barely have sex. We have had a lot of problems due to porn. And still at 113 days out. I am looking at this screen. Full aware that my brain is still stuck in the thought that sex lies behind this screen. Endless amounts of sex. And when I do not let myself do it.

I am depressed.. I wish I had been adult in 1980es. Believing that porn is bad for me. I feel bad for you kids who are told that porn is not bad. How could you resist it with the current attitude?

Here also is a particularly interesting passage from the comments section:

We are all the test subjects of the radical changes to global society that occurred in the last one hundred years. The liberalisation of society improves the quality of life of all of its members, but it seems like adjustment periods are always necessary. The womens' rights movement has meant that this is the best period in history in which to be born female. Men and women are, however, unsure of the extent to which they should associate themselves with feminism, and of the situations in which it should and should not inform their behaviour. The sexual liberation in the 60s has meant that people have the freedom to remain single for as long as they like, and ensures that they are not shunned or punished for their sexual behaviour. The adjustment period has been very turbulent; we've discovered the risks of serious sexually transmitted diseases, the costs of choosing the single lifestyle indefinitely, the damage that divorce does to society, and now, the damaging effects of porn on the mind of a regular user.

I think that the silver lining is that though we were unlucky enough to have been mislead guinea-pigs in this crazy, unintended social experiment, we were also lucky enough to be on the right side of the bell-curve in terms of how early we discovered the problem (relative to the rest of society). When you take a sledgehammer to your behaviours you're also given the opportunity to rebuild yourself in a way those who do not have a problem, or are unaware of their problem, do not get to.

As you left porn behind a while ago, you might consider whether you're just responding to the conditioned response of a particular website or set of websites. You can undo conditioned response through extinction by putting a blocker on your computer and trying to visit a site whenever you get the urge. Your midbrain will begin to register that the site is no longer a reliable source of dopamine, and your conditioning will weaken and become extinct. (Don't do these extinction exercises when you are feeling very weak, as you will find a way around the blocker. Only attempt to visit them when the thought crosses your mind, though your determination to not actually see any of the content remains strong).

Click Here to view the original discussion.

Image by Brad Oliphant