POSA™ Blog

As the last month of summer continues to bless us with warm days and abundant gardens and the kids head back to school, we are excited to offer another episode of our Survivor's Series. These are the actual accounts of real women who reclaimed their lives once they freed themselves from the Intimate Partner Abuse that chronic infidelity, in all its many forms, engenders. We've written about cheating as a form of narcissistic abuse, as well, since it is the common component in recurrent infidelity.   

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"My personality is more about making things right, fixing things and getting them to work (in my marriage) ...but there's a downside to that: I had to learn to let go and stop trying to fix."

In addition to the valuable insights and lessons from Sandra's story, take note of the somewhat surprising circumstance under which she finally arrived at her decision to create a better life for herself and her children. 

In the tiny lull between Thanksgiving and before the impending holiday frenzy really kicks in, we wanted to share our next Survivor's Series episode with you, our readers. And because we received a fair amount of feedback from those of you who preferred the audio-only format of our last episode as it enabled you to multi-task while listening, we wanted to say that even though our new episode is a video, it's just as easy to hit PLAY on your phone and simply listen to it in the car, while making dinner or whatever else you're busy with. 

As 2017 draws to a close, we thought we'd share our list of the year's more uplifting highlights with our readers. Enjoy...

​As we enter our tenth year, PoSARC is now being read in over 120 countries with a growing subscription list of readers in many of them. We're beyond thrilled; we know we couldn't have gotten this far without the many emails that arrive here from our readers with their ideas, questions, newsworthy articles, their personal stories and updates, and their suggestions.

The many, varied challenges that partners of sexually deceptive men face are typically the focus of our blogposts. But today we expand that focus to include a concern many of our partners express: the hideous fact that our children are being affected by the prevalence of pornography everywhere they turn, often despite our best efforts.

This tasks already infidelity-traumatized partners with a sizable burden: speaking with their children before the damaging exposure inevitably begins. 

To help give voice to the difficult feelings this can bring up for partners, we wanted to share an article that is not the usual how-to; rather, it is a stirring expression of a mother's care for her young son, her frustration at the culture we live in that turns a blind eye to pornography, and ultimately, it is a rousing call to action. Jill, who authored the piece, generously provided some of the original content for PoSARC almost a decade ago. Here, Jill articulates her heartbreak with her usual intelligence, wry humor and the awesome feistiness for which she's known. 

Announcing new, peer-led Ex-POSA Support Groups!

​Greetings, and happy almost-February! Hopefully you're settling into the quiet, more introspective days of winter and allowing the stillness of the season to nourish you. We are taking advantage of the shorter days and longer nights, too, by working on a new website with all original, fresh content that we're feeling pretty keen about. But until we unveil that to you all, we want to share our next Survivor's Series Episode.

This new episode focuses on Amy, a wife and mother of two young children who discusses her hopes for her marriage, her brave attempts to keep her family together even as her heart was broken, what was really going on underneath the supposed signs of "progress" in his therapy, and how she made the decision to make a decision. 
Along the way there was treatment-induced-trauma, too, which can be terribly confusing to sort out since you're there thinking that specialized therapists are the experts, right? His shingle says so, and we're always told Trust the Process.... 

Episode 5: Part 1

Episode 5: Part 2

Happy Almost Spring, dear Readers!

We have less than two weeks left until the official start of spring begins, even though for many of us, this winter was exceptionally mild. Nonetheless, we're eager to get our garden started and to welcome the longer days of sunlight. 

Today we have a new video episode for you as part of our Survivor's Series. In it, we'll be interviewing an especially articulate and self-reflective survivor, Dr. Susan K as she speaks about her experiences in her covertly injurious long-term marriage and ...what finally changed for her.

As she says in our interview:

"You are stronger than you think you are.
You have more power than you think you do.
Your life is going to change...and you're going to be happy again.
You're going to be at peace again. I didn't think I'd ever find peace again".

We think you'll agree that Dr. K possesses tremendous courage and tenacity which is why we thoughther story would inspire our readers to take heart and prioritize their own well-being no matter what is happening at home.

As ever, if anything you've heard or seen here rings true for you, or allows a submerged insight to come to light, please share with our other readers in the Comments section. We'e all learning together here!

If we were fortunate enough to have received a donation from you for our video series, we thank you!
We are glad you realize how valuable a website with no annoying ads is, especially one that operates independent of any treatment models, practitioners or centers. 

A few weeks ago in The New York Times, reviewer Meghan Daum writes up a new book dealing with infidelity discovered by a trusting wife (author Jen Waite) and the fall-out from that, as well as the steps out of her private hell with her chronic cheater. From the New York Times review of A Beautiful, Terrible Thing: A Memoir of Marriage and Betrayal: