POSA™ Blog

I am committed to a world of love, respect and safety for all people. I'm sick of all the shame, numbness and secrecy surrounding porn and addiction. And I'm outraged by all of the violence, degradation, and exploitation of women and children. Enough is enough!"

To read his blog post, click here: Dan Mahle Article

And then come back here and tell us what you think about the idea of a Men We Love category for PoSARC. I'm so pleased to report that we now have a small handful of men we'd love to showcase! God knows we need inspiration for the journey ~ what are your thoughts on us creating this new feature?

Here's a wonderfully researched article on the way pornography is affecting our young people. Some of you may remember the journalist, Sara Israelson-Hartley, from her interviewing me in The Deseret News here:

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865582633/Second-hand-porn-the-spreading-circle-of-damage.html

This week, she explores the tragic facts behind how early the kids are that pornography is finding through subversive means....pop-up ads, mouse-trapping and using the most commonly mis-spelled words that kids type into google to then open up pornography teasers to get kids to click onto the actual porn sites.

If you are a parent, or are concerned about how our youth's sexuality is being hijacked by the commercial pornography market, this article will be of interest to you.

And here's a big shout out to Sara for her formidable efforts to keep us all informed about this gigantic elephant in our societal living rooms.

Thank you, Sara!

One of the challenges of working with a topic for many years is that one can end up burrowing deeper and deeper into more complex aspects of the topic. One of the risks can be possibly losing touch with how a newcomer to the topic may still be struggling with "the basics". So while still engaging my interest in delving into the more complex aspects of progressed behaviors in addiction as well as chronic infidelity, I am devoting some time and webpage space to apprising newcomers of what they might expect as they find themselves in a strange new world of sex addiction or chronic infidelity with all its pain and confusion. Here, then, is Part One of the new series:

Sexual addiction, including pornography addiction, is one of the most harmful in relationships. The shame with this addiction for the addict and the spouse, the betrayal, trauma and stereotypes linked to the addiction are often devastating.

FROM EX MEN'S MAG EDITOR MARTIN DAUBNEY:

PoSARC Note: Presented by DailyMail.co.uk , By MARTIN DAUBNEY but we assure you it works the same everywhere !!!

The moment I knew internet pornography had cast its dark shadow over the lives of millions of ordinary British teenagers will live with me forever.

I was sitting in the smart drama hall of a specialist sports college in the North of England with a fantastic reputation.

Before me were a group of 20 boys and girls, aged 13-14. Largely white, working class children, they were well turned-out, polite, giggly and shy.

As the presenter of a Channel 4 documentary called Porn On The Brain, airing next Monday at 10pm, I'd been invited to sit in on a forward-thinking class led by sex education consultant Jonny Hunt, who is regularly asked into schools to discuss sex and relationships. To establish what these kids knew about sex - including pornography - he had asked the children to write an A-Z list of the sexual terms they knew, no matter how extreme.

FROM DAILY INFOGRAPHIC

Online pornography is a multibillion dollar industry where every second over 3000 dollars are spent and almost 30,000 people are fapping. Those are astounding numbers and the profits of the pornographic firms only prove those points more.

Since I tend to bring you news from the real world that isn't always the most uplifting as POSAs are concerned, here's something inspirational to add to the PoSARC mix:

This is a powerful video presentation by Jackson Katz, PhD whom I've been a big fan of since watching him speak in the excellent DVD documentary, Pornography: The Price of Pleasure. Hearing a heterosexual, married-with-kids, man speak out so eloquently and fiercely against pornography and it's egregious effects on society, I was an instant fan of his. So I was particularly thrilled to be able to find this video.

Here at PoSARC - Partners of Sex Addicts/Compulsives, we have been seeing lots of discussion surrounding Porn Blockers and software - based solutions to the problem of SA and SAC issues. Our jury is out on this, or rather...deliberating!

We do feel that manufacturers need to consider creating a designation other than a "kiddie, teenager or college-age" type of settings for blocking explicit material. We want adults to have input on their settings when they want to be on guard against porn themselves.

We have learned that MyPornBlocker.com and PageClean.com are two programs that don't infantilize the user with having to use kiddie settings when doing set-up on the system.
We have yet to road-test them or others to see what we think.

At the APSATS training for Partner-Sensitive Trauma Treatment (in sex addiction) recently in Dallas, which I was fortunate enough to be enrolled in, I was particularly struck by one of the Board member's presentations. Dan Drake, an articulate and well-informed therapist trained in sex addiction presented on the many ways partners are often psychologically manipulated by their sex-addicted significant other and the effects thereof. His presentation of this often misunderstood and even more often unaddressed aspect of the partner's experience left me feeling relieved that this information was finally out there.Plus, I was inspired that he was teaching a whole generation of other therapists from the partner-sensitive trauma model.

I am sharing a transcript of my interview with Dan in the hopes that you, our faithful readers, will know that there will soon be an end to the days when one cannot find treatment providers (coaches and therapists) who work from a partner-sensitive perspective. The days are soon coming when the term "co-addict" will be a relic of the past.